It’s at times like this that we appreciate just how precious life really is and how dear our friends and family are to us. Here’s the place to share your words of support, encouragement, love and friendship to Mark and Melissa and their family.
(Note: You can post comments by clicking on the "comments" link below. Once you are on the comments page, scroll down to the bottom of the page and fill in the form. Please contact us if you have any problems.)
Hi Mark,
I just finished talking to you on the phone and reading your latest entries on this web site. I hope you know that you are an inspiration and have touched as many lives as you have been touched by. I have to be honest and say that I teared up when looking at your photographs in your entry entitled "Sweeping Denial". They are poetry and from your soul. They are like a clearing after a rain shower - honest, true, and full of renewal.
As Always so many blessings to you, Melissa, Julia, and Evan. I look forward to a hike soon.
Love Jeannette
Posted by: Jeannette Longtin | August 01, 2005 at 10:19 AM
Dear Mark,
Ever since I heard about your accident I have been thinking of you, and wishing you well! I only met you once but was so taken with your spirit and good vibes, then we emailed to meet up and as my trips to bay area are always too crammed with stuff, time ran out and we had to reschedule......i hope you'll be back enjoying life soon....
my very best wishes of healing, and being well,
Marlena
Posted by: marlena spieler | July 14, 2005 at 11:49 AM
Dear Mark,
I was so interested in your latest message, "Sweeping Denial" and where you are moving to in your experience and perceptions. A few thoughts:
The basic story of the accident is one thing, and certainly important. However, I think that when we connect, as you have, with our "deeper story"--our divinty, we invite other people to reach into their core values and it becomes a way to give back to one's community. It is also a way to grow through the experience. I'm impressed with your continuing ways of revisioning your life. It's a splendid mirror for us all.
Love Mom
Posted by: Ruth Kornhauser | June 20, 2005 at 01:53 PM
Dear Mark,
Found your website while looking for info on this year’s Marin Century. Read about your accident and on-going recovery including your most recent message from Mark about “What really matters” and since you exhorted us readers to write back—I am. A couple more background thoughts—I found and returned a workplace badge and some keys to a woman who I didn’t know. When she came to collect them, she ran into a friend of hers who is a co-worker of mine. Small world I said. She continued saying that “It is indeed a very small world. There are people and circumstances that connect us, that we are initially unaware of.” While I didn’t know of your accident and recovery, my trip to the Marin Century website led me to you and your family, who are living “What really matters” something which my family and I are doing and of course grappling with as we go. Our journey to “what really matters” began with an ALS diagnosis of a close cousin last August. Bill is a retired fireman, and an important and active member of our extended family, the ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) diagnosis is a nasty one, he has a particularly aggressive case and will be taken from us sooner rather than later.
So here’s what I been able to garner about what matters, it’s that ties that connect us to each other, both known and unknown; it’s the celebration and triumph of the human spirit; it’s supporting each other in the journey. More succinctly—it is living and appreciating the life we have—not the one we wish we had. I can tell you, if it were up for wishing away—I’d certainly be wishing away the terrible disease that’s taking my cousin; but—of course that’s not the way it works. So we find the treasure and the value in this chapter of life that we have, and it is truly rich and valuable. And one of the very beautiful things we’ve discovered, is this interconnectness thing—we touch the lives no only of those we know but sometimes those we don’t know; we get and give strength through our courage and grace. And what great hope that is! My cousin’s wife (my blood relation of the two,) Kathie, draws from the movie Cool Runnings—meaning “Peace be the journey.”
The courage and grace that your are showing as you recover radiates. Thank you.
Please continue to take care of yourself, and be as patient with yourself as you can. I’ll be thinking of you and your family, and looking forward to your next Message from Mark.
I wish you and yours, Cool Runnings.
Sincerely,
Nancy
Posted by: Nancy K | June 09, 2005 at 01:34 PM
Hello Marc,
This is Edouard, the french guy ! I haven't been riding my bike in almost 6 months and as I was checking the marin cyclist web site 10 mn ago I just found out about your accident, I am very sorry about what happened. And I am glad to see that you are already doing better. I'm sure that in such moment your amazing spirit will help you to recover even faster than planned. Please let me know when and how we could catch up.
Be well.
Edouard d'Arbaumont
Posted by: Edouard | May 30, 2005 at 10:48 PM
Hi Mark,
I look forward to each time you post something on the site as your insights are profound and make me stop and think.
Although I have been spared going through such a life changing experience as you have had to endure, it amazes me that it is so common to hear from folks such as yourself that buried deep within the black package you were given are gold nuggets. Gold nuggets that you otherwise would not have been priviledged enough to have; a strange dichotomy.
I think of you daily as I thoroughly enjoy the new desktop photo you allowed me to use. As I suspected, the twisted fence stakes won out over the lovely daisies and purple flowers, at least for now.
A friend came over and caught a glimpse of my desktop as I was shutting it down and commented on the lovely photo. Thought it was important that you receive this compliment. She thought I had downloaded it, but I proudly stated I knew the photographer and had his permission to use it on my desktop. :-)
I am glad you are contiuing to get better. As I am sure your doctors and therapists at Kentfield have told you, recovering from a brain injury is a painstakingly slow process, but the good news is that healing continues.
My mom is not doing well, very depressed because she does not have the hope of improvement that you do. She no longer can go out and do the things she had previously enjoyed due to the back pain that came after her fall.
Kaiser is taking the "lets wait and see" approach but I will call them Monday and let them know how severely her life is being impacted by this new back pain and that she really can't even go shopping for herself anymore. Hopefully I will get somewhere.
It is very difficlut to watch the process of an elderly parent getting old and losing their independence, especially from such a distance.
As usual, my best to your speical family,
Vivian
Posted by: Vivian | May 22, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Hi Mark,
As you know, I have been pulling everything off the website in order to make a scrapbook about the life-changing accident you had last January. When I began it, I had no idea what a profound experience it would be for me. I was, of course, greatly impacted by the accident (as your mom, that’s not too surprising) but I had no idea that by creating this book, I would process my own experience of it at such a deep level. My “expressive art” has always been a vehicle for me to go into my unconscious and understand things in ways I probably could not reach by just talking or thinking about them. It has also served to deepen my connection with you which is the greatest blessing of all. So I just want you to know that while you are on your journey, you have given me (and I’m sure many others) the opportunity to expand my own journey and know a whole new meaning to “gratitude, appreciation and love”. You are very special and as I go deeper and deeper, I am coming to extraordinary new awareness’s of all that you are--we are. Thank you for “being” here now
Posted by: Ruth Kornhauser | May 05, 2005 at 08:13 PM
Hi Mark,
Just saw the photos and WOW they are awesome!!!! I couldn't take photos like that with 2 eyes. You may have difficulty with your right eye but the gift to know what to shot and how to shoot is not affected. I am really impressed and would never know that you had a visual disability.
Because you still cognitively know what and how to shoot and have the blessing of having been a pro photographer prior to injury, the end result is perfect for those of us lucky enough to have 2 functioning eyes. It is unfortunate that you can't enjoy the result as we do. Hopefully in the near future you too will be able to see that the talent and artistry is still there.
I just returned from Marin this last weekend trying to get my mom settled from her most recent hospitalization. She was discharged from the nursing home Sunday. She has aged so since her surgery in December and subsequent fall one month ago. This most recent exacerbation and hospitalization last week didn't help. It is difficult to see your last living parent age and suffer.
Had she not been in the hospital again, I would have liked to volunteer for a brief 'Mark sitting' as a small gesture of gratitiude for how wonderful you and your family have been to my mom, but under the circumstances there was not a free second.
My best to Melissa, Julia and Evan. I hope you were able to enjoy the Passover.
Vivian
PS - the photo of the twisted fence stakes made me think of your accicent. Notice how all the peices but one are pointing in the same direction. It is that one stake, pointing off in another direction that gives the pciture its design and interest. And so with this awful accident, you are developing areas that will make the design and interest of your life resonate more deeply. am not sure if I expressed this thought correctly, but hope you get the idea.
Posted by: Vivian and Eva Gottheiner | April 28, 2005 at 11:35 PM
Mark and Melissa, good news, Stacy Nard was given a postion at the hospital today and will move from Ohio to Santa Rosa to be an additional therapist on the Trauma team. I have to think, that seeing your amazing progress was a huge factor in her accepting the challenge of moving to California and helping me out! To be blunt, I think I had to reassure Stacy that after reviewing your CT, MRI, and Xray scans, and knowing your prior activity level and social support, that in fact you were likey to suprise a lot of people. (She almost cried after our initial evaluation in the ICU with you and Mellisa...) Her exposure and confidence builds each day. The photos are outstanding, I would love to see panaramic photos of your hiking trail. "Champions are ordinary people, with extraordinary determination"
Star Stevenson MSPT
Posted by: Star Stevenson | April 27, 2005 at 07:08 PM
Mark,
We just ran into Melissa at the mall yesterday as I'm sure she mentioned. We had no idea. Last we heard you all were going to Hawaii for 2 weeks.
I just read through your web site and it reminded me of how special, funny, and wonderfully positive you are. It's fitting that you would be reading 'why bad things happen to good people'--that is exactly what Joe said to me after Melissa told us about your accident.
We would love to come see you though we'll be doubling the chaos with our 2 small kids and dog. This time it should be a good brush with chaos for you!
All of our love,
Dee & Joe (Caius, Briannah, and of course Kelly)
Posted by: Dee, Joe, Caius, Briannah, & Kelly | April 25, 2005 at 10:03 AM
Hi Mark!
As usual I have been keeping my mom, Eva, abreast of your progress. It is funny that you write about your new normal right now when my mom could benefit from hearing your philosophy on the subject. Your attitude is so positive, I wish you could share it with my mom who is also adjusting to a new normal.
If by chance you do talk to her, PLEASE DO NOT MENTION THAT I SAID WHAT I DID ABOVE.
Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since she fell in her yard on the cement. God's hands must have been around her as she only was badly bruised on her head and total hip and a badly sprained wrist. With the lifeline bracelet she now has she was able to summon help.
As you know she could have had a head injury (and even died at her age) and multiple broken bones including her new hip, but God was with her as He was with you. He isn't finished with either on of you yet; thank goodness.
I only bring this up as she is having to adjust to using the walker permanently, even in the house. Her attitude is not as positive as yours, but again, my thoughts on this subject are in confidence to you.
I talk with her every night as it is free on my cell phone after 9 PM. Perhaps I will read her some exceprts from your philosophy and positive attitude tonight.
the raod you are on is a tough one, but the advice of your bicyclist friend that suggested you look at progress over months/years not days is so correct.
Look at your children. You see no difference in them day to day, yet they are blossoming before your eyes when you look at the long picture. So it will be with your recovery.
I beleive that if you write your progress in a monthly and quarterly report in a journal, you will be astonished. Certainly from 1/30 to 4/30 the report would be unbelieveable. Then when the day to day progress doesn't please you, if you look back on the monthly and quarterly reports, your spirits should be lifted.
Take care and keep up the good work,
Eva and Vivian Gottheiner
Posted by: Eva and Vivian Gottheiner | April 11, 2005 at 08:02 PM
Mark,
I just read about your accident in the Pedal Press. I had no idea...out of the loop now that I'm no longer at Manor. Unbelievable...but I liked your comment about your brush with chaos. Well put. I'm only thankful it wasn't MORE chaotic. I hope Melissa is surviving too...it's not like life was so calm before the accident with two kids and the business. I looked at your calendar to be a Mark sitter, but I couldn't understand what to fill out...any hours that weren't filled in blue are available? I'll check back about that. Meanwhile, keep up your good recovery work.
Best wishes, Deirdra
Posted by: Deirdra Rogers | March 31, 2005 at 10:18 PM
Hi Mark,
Remember me from down the street and Landor?
I just heard about your accedent. I am really gald to see that you are doing so well.
You are a great human being and one that should be here on earth for a long long time.
I will call you soon and make an appointment to visit and bring up some chocolate.
Bless you and your family.
Patrick
Posted by: Patrick Waters | March 31, 2005 at 05:57 PM
Hi there Mark!
I just went to your website and read your "Brush with Chaos" posting. I love what you wrote in it. It seems like the wisdom of you brain is intact and growing!Anyway, it is a rainy Sunday and I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. How is your family too? When I think of you all, I get a warm feeling in my chest, my head and my eyes water a bit because I am touched by all the loving actions your family and friends have expressed in living with what you went through and are continuing to go through. This is just beautiful and gives me hope and faith in good in the world. I am sending my love and positive thoughts your way! Oh yes, and keep up the guitar! It is really awesome that you are learning how to play it!
I love the guitar, I used to play, but now I appreciate listening to it so much. Music is go great and I am so grateful for it in my life. O.k. gotta run now, you be good and I will see you sometime soon for your hair-do! Love, P
Posted by: Paula Capocchi | March 27, 2005 at 03:42 PM
Mark,I have been to Spirit Point and know your mom,Ruti,from her days of deliberatness she has, as well as meeting with the Elijah Minyan. I have been following news but this is the first time I have written. Today is exactly one month since my Mom passed away. Like you I am focusing on what I can be grateful for.I have one positive memory after another to reflect on. I am looking out the window as birds feed in the backyard, the greens of the plants and the blues and whites of the sky makes it seem like the whole world was created anew just this morning. I have just had a small medical procedure and am thankful that each day I feel better.
Your courage and perceptions and graditude are encouraging to me. You are indeed very fortunate to have such a wonderful support network of family and friends. Ron Dechter
Posted by: Ron Dechter | March 17, 2005 at 10:24 AM
Mark and Family,
This it the first I have heard of your accident. I wanted to call and schedule an appointment to see you a month or so ago, but I figured you were shooting and everything was fine. I was truly shocked to hear about your accident. I am so relieved you are on the road to recovery, which can be a windy road, but knowing you and your positive spirit, you'll be back before you know it. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish all the best to you and your family. Best regards, Dan
Posted by: Dan Cuny | March 12, 2005 at 01:03 PM
Hi Mark-
Miss seeing you at the APA board meetings, they are more fun when you are there! I just wanted to say hi and let you know that you and your family are in my family's thoughts and prayers. It is great to hear about your progress from Lise... you're amazing, and your positive energy is an inspiration to us all, thanks so much for sharing!
Alice
Posted by: Alice | March 11, 2005 at 02:49 PM
Hi Mark, We wanted to blast out some positive from Colorado. Man you got a lot of friends!! All the best from our family to yours. Greg smells farts at Butt Lake.
Posted by: rob, julie, jack, and erik. the colorado nilsens | March 10, 2005 at 11:55 PM
Hi Markie! Home sweet home! I wanted to come and see you this weekend, your first weekend home. I know, I know....first I never leave your site and now I don't visit. It's just like old times.....Anyway....I'm so glad that you are at home where the love in the house, the loud noises, Zuza snoring at night...which you probably won't hear now, and soon cuddling again with Melissa, will bring back the normalicy that you so cherish in life. Glad that you are back and no that in no time, you'll be able to live the life that you have been working so hard to save. Hugs and kisses and I will come visit....your wife just has me working so hard. What's a girl to do?! I love you Mark and we want more pictures now of you at home! Oh, and very glad you are able to update your progress. Straight from the horses mouth! :-)
XOXO
Posted by: Shawna | March 07, 2005 at 04:37 PM
Hey LB,
OK, I've read the updates on the website and am now fully prepared to hang out with you today while Melissa and Julia go to the play. I look forward to seeing you again, and will bring Miles for Evan, and Jordy for Zusa (sp?).
Sounds like a rockin' good time. Later...Matt
Posted by: Matt Elkins | March 06, 2005 at 08:28 AM
Mark,
I know you through your great photos that you have done for MCBC and Safe Routes. (I work on their newsletters) I really appreciate your work. I hope you can get back to your artwork ASAP.
All the very best to you
Jeremy
Posted by: Jeremy Thornton | March 04, 2005 at 05:38 PM
Hi Mark,
We may have heard a little later than most, so our good wishes are a little delayed in coming, but your support system does eventually make it up to Lucas Valley! We are so thankful you are going to be OK and that you have so many people who love you and are caring for you along this timultuous (sp?) road. We hope to see you soon and will be out in Fairfax to cook you dinner when you return home.
love,
Janet, Dave, Maddie, Delaney & Sophie
Posted by: Janet & Dave | March 04, 2005 at 08:15 AM
Hey babe!
I can't believe you are going home Friday! Let me know when I can come over and cook a nice dinner for everybody! Wednesdays are usually good.
Woo Hoo!
Love and admiration always...
Lucie
Posted by: Lucie | March 02, 2005 at 03:32 PM
Howdy again, Mark -
Just thought I'd check in and let ya know we're all still thinking of you lots, and sending our positive healing vibes your way. Great news about going home on Friday!
--Sandra
Posted by: Sandra Murray | March 02, 2005 at 03:22 PM
Mark,
Home on Friday! Isn't that great! You must have been working hard to get this just reward. No doubt Melissa will appreciate NOT going to the Kentfield, too.
Let me know when a good time for me to "Breeze" on over for a visit.
Best,
John Doidge
Posted by: John Doidge | March 02, 2005 at 12:59 PM